What is the self-image?

The self-image is, essentially, how you see yourself. The importance of the self-image was popularised in a book, published in 1960 by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. Dr Maltz wasn’t a trained psychologist, he was a plastic surgeon, but as he explains at the beginning of the book, he was upset at seeing some of his patients not really appreciating the results of his surgical efforts. No matter what he did as a plastic surgeon (and it entailed ‘fixing’ such issues as protruding ears, ‘long’ noses, ‘pointy’ chins, etc), the patient would often feel as though nothing had changed. Even when he gave them a mirror and asked them to look specifically at the feature he’d worked on. It seemed they literally couldn’t see any difference.

He realised, after a while, that there was something going on, some unresolved issue that was causing them to remain in the same psychological state they’d been in before the surgery. And he started to advise them on how best to deal with it. So a doctor whose job it was to fix the physical ‘problems’ he was faced with, found himself fixing the psychological issues that lay behind the physical ones. And he was good at it! So good that he eventually wrote a book on the subject, Psycho-cybernetics.

Psycho-cybernetics

It was an absolutely ground-breaking book, one that delved into the psychology behind self-image, and yet it was written with the layman in mind. Psycho-cybernetics has never been out of print since its publication, and it’s estimated to have sold somewhere between 30 and 50 million copies. I bought about three of them, since I kept lending them to people after telling them how good the book was, and they, in turn, raved about it and passed it on to their friends. Ha, so much for sharing! 😉

The essence of the book is that each one of us carries within us a sort of mental blueprint of ourselves, and we always act according to that blueprint. In other words, if you were a bit shy as a child it’s quite possible you still see yourself as shy and retiring even now, with no good reason. But because it’s part of your self-image you will find yourself still acting as though you’re very withdrawn and unable to engage with people. And if you were bullied at school, and became frightened of other people, that same mind-set will quite possibly still prevail, and may be holding you back from making friends and advancing in the workplace.

Acting as if …

What Dr. Maltz advised was actually quite simple. It boils down to this: spend a few minutes each day getting very relaxed and entering into an imaginary situation where you act as if you were the way you’d like to be. So, for example, if you have a problem with shyness, imagine yourself engaging with other people in a comfortable, relaxed way, and enjoying it. If you always saw yourself as plain, or even ugly, imagine yourself as the beautiful swan rather than the ugly duckling, and imagine other people seeing you in this new light. Play out these scenarios in your mind and you’ll actually be programming your mind for success.

You can see yourself any way you like! See yourself as handsome (or beautiful), as highly intelligent and quick to learn, as strong willed and decisive, as positive and optimistic rather than the alternative, or whatever it is that will improve your life. As you repeatedly see yourself acting in the new way, you will be literally reprogramming your subconscious mind. Your subconscious determines how you act in any given situation, and it does it while always keeping in line with your self-image. It can’t do anything but that – the self-image is the only blueprint it has to work from.

What’s holding you back?

What is it you’d really like to do? Do you long for financial freedom? Do you desperately want to be free of debt? Or is it business success you yearn for? Maybe you’d like to start your own business and be your own boss, but you don’t see yourself as capable of making the break? Do you want to be able to meet new people and chat easily and agreeably with them? Do you wish you could be more fitter and stronger, but see yourself as a hopeless case, weak and unathletic?

Whatever your situation, and whatever it is you’d like to change in your life, it’s always a good idea to start by changing your self-image. Whatever else you do, if your self-image stays as it was, it’s a fair bet not much else will change. For example, you could spend years studying the various aspects of business so that you’re well prepared to start up on your own, but if your self-image still dictates that you’re too withdrawn, indecisive and timid to make the break, you almost certainly never will.

Can changing the self-image really change your life?

It would be easy to assume that changing the self-image was just a ‘new-age-y’ kind of idea, but had no grounding in fact. But consider some of the great achievers in life, the successful entrepreneurs, the movie stars, the medal winning athletes, and so on. Do you really think they were all born exceptionally good at what they do? Or is there something going on there that we simply haven’t taken account of …

Watch a top athlete moments before he or she attempts a world record. They don’t just idly stroll up to the mark and give it their best shot. They stop … they focus … they enter into their own inner world where they’ve already won the race, where they’re already successful. They’re actually mentally rehearsing beating those other competitors, breaking that record, winning that medal. They can see and feel the experience of winning, even before they’ve set foot on the track. They are, in fact, honing their self-image, making it one that reflects success and achievement rather than simply an attitude of ‘having a go’.

You can change anything you want!

Improve your self-image and you can literally change anything you want about your life. You can become more outgoing, more relaxed in company, more decisive, more forceful, more determined, more assertive, more confident … more of whatever you like.

Spend just a couple of minutes a day on this and make it a habit. Give it a month or two – a blueprint that’s taken a lifetime to construct won’t be changed overnight. Stick with it and watch the effects come about, maybe even sooner than you expect. The thing is, you build on success. What I mean by that is, if you start to become a little more outgoing, for example, you will find that it feels more natural to be that way now, instead of withdrawn and shy of making conversation. From being slightly more outgoing you can soar to becoming hugely more relaxed with other people in just a matter of days. Because it feels so easy and comfortable, you’ll do more of it, and more easily. So what seemed almost impossible, now becomes progressively easier and easier, and probably far quicker than you thought possible.

Use this method to become more decisive, so that you can get more done, and quicker. Learn to trust your own judgement! You can use this method to become so confident that you will attempt things now that you’d have been frightened to even consider beforehand.

One of the greatest proofs of the value of this method showed itself when Dr. Maltz was advising his patients on changing their mindset. He saw that they almost invariably changed their attitude to their ‘new’ faces now that their self-image had improved. Without the mental readjustment, all the surgery in the world would have been pointless, and without any real effect.

So, how do I do it then …

Get yourself into a nice relaxed position, probably best sitting in a comfortable chair (lying down to relax easily leads to falling asleep, which in this case isn’t what you want). Close your eyes and breathe slowly and evenly. Don’t make any attempt to breathe deeply, or do anything physical at all. Just allow yourself to relax deeply. Let the muscles of your face and neck, then your arms, soften and relax. Allow that soft relaxation to spread throughout your entire body.

Now, in your mind’s eye (or in the theatre of your mind, as Dr. Maltz put it), see yourself as you are, or were, i.e. displaying the traits that you find undesirable. That may mean seeing yourself as shy, or indecisive, or weak-willed, or physically inept. See this image and then swipe it away to one side. Just mentally take charge of it and do away with it. Another way to deal with it is to make the image become gradually less impressive – draw the colours out of it, make it monochromatic, then make it fade, dull the sounds involved in the action. Literally watch it gradually fade away, and know that the mindset it represents is also a thing of the past. As you do so you will be weakening the mental image you hold of yourself.

Now see yourself in similar situations, but this time imagine yourself just as you’d like to be. This time see yourself as decisive, assertive, imposing, strong willed. See your friends smiling, impressed by the new you. See your co-workers seeing you in a different light, impressed by your inventiveness and ideas, and amused by your sense of humour. Bask in the feelings you get from portraying yourself as more of what you want to be like. Really lose yourself in the experience.

Don’t forget, as amazing as it is, the brain cannot tell the difference between a real event and a vividly imagined one. I’m not saying it’s difficult for the brain to distinguish between the two. I’m saying it literally CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE. So be assured that, as you mentally rehearse your new status, your brain will be getting vivid and very positive information about your new self. This is what builds your self-image!

Sounds almost too easy …

This is the problem with certain things, that they seem too easy. It can be hard to believe they can actually be effective, or to such a degree. But don’t take my word for it, or that of Dr. Maltz. There’s a very simple way to find out for yourself, beyond any doubt. All you have to do is try it!

Decide what it is you’d like to change about your self-image. Would you like to be more assertive? More decisive? More confident? More relaxed in the company of others? Would you like to be able to confidently speak to groups, in order to make a presentation, for example? Would you like to be able to commit to becoming slimmer and fitter and stronger, and be sure you wouldn’t fall by the wayside after a few days?

Whatever it is you’d like to change, see it in your mind first. Spend a few minutes each day mentally rehearsing being that new person. Make the change from the inside out, bit by bit. As Napoleon Hill said, “What you can can conceive and believe, you can achieve.”

Now, commit to spending those few minutes a day, every day, seeing yourself more successful, and happier than ever before. Those few minutes, which might seem like a bit of an unpleasant commitment at first, will quickly become your favourite few minutes of the day. They will be the few minutes you’ll be living your dream, at least in your imagination.

And that’s where all change starts … in your mind!