Worry … really, what’s the point of it?

The human brain developed very gradually over millennia and one of its functions was to worry. It’s perfectly natural. So what’s the problem?

Okay, let’s shift back in time fifty thousand years or so … things were quite different then, obviously. But one of the main differences was that we were under threat constantly then, and we had to worry about how to survive each and every threat.

Way back then we were faced with very real threats

For example, if a person was threatened by a predator (which was probably fairly common at that time), he would have to find somewhere to hide, and quick. Or he would have to find some way to fight for his life, which would probably mean finding some weapon, or some way to use the things around him as weapons. Pretty good reason to worry, I’d say. And when things had quietened down, you would probably have been worrying about every little injury you incurred in your everyday life, because each and every one could adversely affect your ability to run or fight your way out of trouble.

Or let’s say a woman saw that her baby was in danger. Because, for example, the weather had suddenly turned very cold and food was scarce. She’d also have very good reason to worry. She’d be worrying about how to keep the baby warm and well fed, not to mention keeping herself warm and well nourished – if she didn’t take care of herself she’d be in no position to take care of the infant.

Obviously I could go on citing examples of dangerous situations, and I’m sure they happened with a terrifying regularity fifty thousand years ago. And no sooner had one thing been sorted out there would have been something else to worry about. But I don’t need to go on about that, it’s obvious – life then was truly hard, and the name of the game was survival.

So worry played a necessary role – it helped our ancestors survive. In fact, without our ancestors worrying we wouldn’t even be here. So worry was more than necessary, it was vital. Way back then. In those far off days, worry equalled survival. If you didn’t take a threat seriously and deal with it immediately, you might not survive long. Those who did make it through hard times and did survive, they passed on their genes to us. So naturally we’re worriers!

Fast forward now to the present day. We still have problems, of course, and some of them seem life threatening. But if you step back and take an overview of what’s really going on, you have to admit that practically everything we worry about today, on a personal level, is fairly trivial. And some things that are not so trivial, such as the threat of terrorism or global warming, are so far removed from our own personal situation that it doesn’t actually pose much of a real threat (at least not in a personal sense). Those threats are very real of course, and they could impact humanity as a whole, but on a personal level they’re really not something to worry about.

We still worry today, but are we really in danger?

We worry about things we see on the news, for example. Understandable, since terrorism is a scourge of the modern world, and we’re more aware of natural disasters such as tsunamis nowadays. But the truth is that there’s not much you can do about most of these things (unless you happen to work in security, or as a seismologist). For most of us, these things are a threat, but still we can’t do anything about them. So worrying about them is actually pointless.

Consider two people, one worries about the threat of getting caught up in a terrorist atrocity or a cataclysmic tsunami all the time and the other doesn’t. It’s possible either or both of them will be involved in a terrorist event or a tsunami, but highly unlikely. And, more importantly, one of them is creating all kinds of health problems for himself by worrying all the time, while the other is relaxed and detached. Which one seems to be making more sense?

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch the news, or keep up to date with world events. Just that you shouldn’t let it get to you. And you should be aware of the misuse of language we’re surrounded with, specially in the media.

For example, I’ve lost count of the number of times a newscaster has been interviewing an ‘expert’ and asked him or her, “So, how worried should we be then?” The inference is that we obviously should be worried! And the only question is how much.

And this is taken onboard by many, many viewers, in fact probably by all those who don’t have a sort of worry filter operating. We need to be able to filter out the incessant urge to worry that pours out of the media. We need to be able to watch the news without getting ourselves into a state of near-panic.

Less serious things worry us as well. We worry about whether we’ll be able to find a parking space, or whether a train will arrive on time. We worry about the price of food going up, or interest rates going down. We worry about kids taking drugs and the fact that we seem to have gained a few pounds and a few waist inches over the last year or two.

What’s wrong with that? Doesn’t everybody worry?

What’s wrong is that once you start worrying about something your body starts reacting. Not always as violently as in the fight-or-flight syndrome, but even so the body starts to gear up for survival. Alarm bells start to clang and the body prepares for defence. This is not healthy. Not if you’re not in a situation that actually calls for speedy and frenzied action. Your entire bloodstream gets pumped full of adrenaline and because no real action is called for it lingers in your system for a long, long time, causing you stress and anxiety.

Incidentally, this is one of the reasons exercise is so important. The increased blood flow tends to clear out panic hormones that accumulate in the bloodstream and leave you less stressed. That’s why a workout can make you feel relaxed afterwards, and more peaceful.

We can’t all be as calm as a monk sitting cross legged and meditating peacefully, but I think it’s better to be tending more towards calm than panic. And it doesn’t actually take much to shift yourself in that direction either. All you have to do is try to put things in a proper perspective.

I remember reading years ago that if you’re in a worrying situation, such as a job interview, it can be helpful to visualise the interviewer in his underwear. The idea is that it strips away the stuffy, official veneer and let’s you see that he’s just a man, like you, and nothing to worry about. That kind of attitude applies to most things. You can mentally take a step back and see things from a slightly different angle and you’ll see that there’s actually nothing to worry about, or at least nothing to be gained from worrying.

Staying calm should become a priority

It’s only natural to be concerned, and even to worry, to an extent. But it’s more important to safeguard your mental and physical health by maintaining a calm attitude to life.

If you’re getting worked up over something, ask yourself “Am I in danger? Is it really necessary to worry about this? Is there something positive I can do about this situation, rather than worry?” Usually, before you’ve even formed the question clearly in your mind, you will have calmed down considerably. Just the idea of asking yourself questions like this can bring an immediate mental shift.

Maybe, once you’ve been using this technique for a while, you could just abbreviate it to a terse mental command: “Calm down, nothing to worry about!” Written down, it looks brusque and unpalatable, but you’re talking to yourself, and you know what’s behind those words. It’s not a harsh command to just shut up, it’s a suggestion to revert to a state of calm, and it’s said with good intentions.

You say this to yourself and immediately feel the alert has been stepped down to a state of calm relaxation. Obviously this doesn’t work on other people. I’m sure there have been times when you’ve been in an over-excited state and someone has urged you to calm down and it’s made you even more agitated. That’s because the idea is in their mind, not yours. And they just vocalised it, which didn’t actually convey any of the thinking behind it.

What I mean is, if the person had looked you squarely in the eyes, with a calm, knowing expression on their face, and had placed a hand gently on your shoulder, they would probably have conveyed far more of what was in their mind without uttering a single word. If you’re in a potentially dangerous situation and someone is close to panic, try to calm that person by a look of understanding, a touch, and with a calm expression on your face, rather than directly telling them to calm down.

But in your own situation, when it’s you on the edge of panic, go straight for the “Calm down, nothing to worry about!” option. It’s understood what you mean, and the effects can be instantaneous. Remember, the vast majority of the things we worry about are relatively trivial, and shouldn’t spark worry at all, and often all you need is to view if from a distance. See it from a week in the future, looking back. It will probably look very minor. Try to imagine how it will look a year from now and you’ll see that it will not even be remembered! I mean, do you even remember things that were bothering you a year ago? You know, all those things that you were panicking and worrying about? Or are they just forgotten now … because they weren’t really that important anyway, in the grand scheme of things?

You can still watch the television news, or be aware of world affairs, but it’s not necessary to let them affect you. Whether or not they do depends entirely on the choice you make. You can worry over everything if you like … or you can just remain calm. As always, it’s entirely up to you.