Has your dog ever gone AWOL and refused to come in? I know the answer even as I’m asking the question; everyone who’s ever owned a dog has had this experience. And the more you chase the dog, the more determined it becomes to evade you. It’ll drive you crazy if you keep chasing it!

I had a dog once that I’d just got from a shelter, and it was very timid, particularly around men (although I didn’t realise it at the beginning, and I hadn’t been warned about it). I took it to the park and groomed it thoroughly, combing out huge clumps of hair and revealing what became literally a dog of a different colour. We had a great time. I loved that I was able to give the dog plenty of much-needed attention, and that I was making it look and feel so much better, and the dog (he was called Rocky) seemed to love it too.

But then he ran off. Not just that, he actually ran out of sight within minutes. I panicked. I’d only just got the dog and he’d taken off. I thought I’d lost him. Pretty soon I saw him again and tried to approach him. He took off again. This happened two or three times, but I kept looking for him, determined to find him and bring him home.

I’d chased my own dog away

After about half an hour of fruitless searching I gave up and walked back home, feeling pretty despondent at having lost the dog so soon after taking it in. When I got in there was Rocky, curled up on the mat in comfort, and apparently he’d gone right back home within minutes of me losing contact with him. I hadn’t fully realised it before but the more you chase a dog the less chance you have of catching it. And although he’d wanted to come ‘home’ (even though it had been his home for less than a day), he wasn’t going to be forced to comply with my wishes. Oh no … he was going to play it his way!

The same thing applies to all kinds of things in life. If you really want a better job, or more money, or a better relationship, or whatever … then the worst thing you can do is chase after it. Because the more you do, the more it will seem to do all it can to evade you. Getting back to the dog gone AWOL, the best way to get it to come home is to stop chasing it and assume the position of leader.

The trick is to let it come to you

Let it see you. Don’t be pushy. Put yourself in plain sight, but don’t act particularly interested. Then head home, quick as you can. Act like the leader and the dog will follow. Dogs do that, it’s in their DNA. They must follow the pack leader. So make sure the dog can see you and just head home. The dog won’t be far behind. And don’t keep looking back to check (leaders don’t do that!), just know that your little plan is working.

With your life problem (better job, more money, whatever), don’t keep staring it in the face and demanding it come to you. Just take the lead, make it plain where you’re going, and it will follow. Live your life as though it’s coming to you (following you), and it will. Adopt the attitude that you’re in control and what you want is being drawn to you. Once you’ve put a stop to the negative cycle of chasing it and seeing it disappear in the distance, time and again, you’ll see it turning up all over the place.

Remember – stop chasing what you want … unless you want to chase it away!