PART 10 OF A 10-PART SERIES TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS

Fear of success can drag you backward

Sometimes, with the best will in the world, it seems you just can’t create the success you want. You follow all the ‘rules’ and you work hard at it. You study and learn all the different skills you need. You do your best to keep up with current developments so that what you’re doing doesn’t seem like something out of the Ark, and still … still it just doesn’t seem to be enough. It’s just not happening for you.

One of the problems you might face is that you’re scared of failure. It terrifies you so much that you never actually get your project off the ground. Paralysis by Analysis they call it … constantly checking things and taking a step back, again and again, always feeling that you’ve missed something important or you’ve done something wrong that needs to be fixed. It can make progress almost impossible. Like taking two steps forward and three back.

But there’s another problem that sometimes kicks in, and it’s both the direct opposite and yet it’s also very similar – the fear of success. I know, sounds crazy! You want to be successful, right? You certainly want to make your mark. You want to break through your own self-imposed boundaries, so how does it make any sense that you might be suffering from fear of success?

With change comes the fear of success

I suppose, if you take a minute to think about it, there is some sense in it. You’ve been lacking success for years, and working your fingers to the bone to achieve something. And now you’re on the verge of a big breakthrough. Although it won’t be a conscious thing, somewhere in the back of your mind you might be getting very nervous at this point. Things are going to change … success always brings about change. Things are going to change, and you won’t have a clue how to handle the situation.

You might find yourself in a precarious situation, money-wise, for one thing. Oh sure, you might be making some real money, perhaps for the first time in your life, but with that new money comes new problems. You have to get to grips with your tax situation, for one thing. Instead of just paying tax on your earnings, and having it deducted automatically from your wages, now you’ll be responsible for paying your tax directly. And working out how much tax to pay. And how to manage your affairs so you don’t pay more tax than you have to.

You might have to take on an accountant, or a business advisor. You might be responsible for employees, maybe for the first time. Suddenly, this new-found success can start to feel suspiciously like a treacherous minefield.

Success can seem like a minefield

And your friends … will they still be your friends? The dynamic will change. Maybe they’ll see you in a different light now. Maybe they’ll think you’re in a different league, or assume that you think you are. Having money can put a strain on friendships. It’s easy to say well, if someone starts treating you differently now that you’re well off, that person wasn’t really your friend in the first place. Easy to say that, but not easy to handle the delicate situations you can find yourself in once your financial situation changes. You don’t want to lose your friends, and you certainly don’t want money to come between you. And there’s absolutely no reason why it should. But it’s understandable if it starts to create anxiety for you.

Your family too. Maybe they’ll feel differently about you. Or act differently towards you. You just want things to stay more or less the way they were, but change is change. By its very nature it’s going to impact every area of your life. It’s inevitable. So it’s possible your fear of success is rooted in what your friends and family might think once you become successful.

Are you worrying needlessly?

The trick, if there is one, is to realise that all these worries are just that … worries. There really isn’t any foundation to them at all. Yes, suddenly being more prosperous will change things, all kinds of things, but if you keep your feet on the ground and don’t forget who you are, it shouldn’t affect things too much. And it needn’t affect things badly at all.

Look on your new-found wealth as a gift. It’s been given to you to use wisely. Enjoy it, and spread it around. But don’t flaunt it, or use it to belittle anyone else. I’m sure you won’t, and as long as you maintain a sensible attitude there’s no reason being richer should cause you any real problems.

And remember, your new-found wealth can help ease the way forward in all kinds of ways. Not only can you now buy the car of your dreams, and move into a wonderful new house, or go on that cruise you’ve been promising yourself, that new money can be used to solve any of those problems you’re needlessly worrying about.

Use your wealth to solve your problems!

Worried about tax? You can afford a financial advisor now, or an accountant. That person will have your best interests at heart, and will have the expertise to deal with any financial hiccups that occur. But take care – it’s still your money, and it’s still your responsibility to know what’s going on with it. I’ve heard so many tales of people putting their financial affairs in the hands of advisors and experts, totally believing that their money is being taken care of, when in fact it hasn’t been so much taken care of as just taken. It happens to professional people, to international stars, to celebrities, to business people, to people from all walks of life. It’s good to have a trusting relationship with a financial advisor, but it’s even better to keep an eye on things as well, and to know just what’s going on.

You’ve got employees now? And that’s worrying you? The same thing applies; have someone in charge of that area, and leave it to them. Don’t try to micromanage. Unless you previously worked in human resources, leave it to the expert. And so it goes on. Anything that might have been worrying you, you now have the ability to delegate to an expert.

Which brings us to the heart of the matter … worry. It’s completely understandable to worry about certain things, but once you start to look into it a bit more carefully you’ll see that worrying, generally, is literally a waste of time. I know that can sound trite, and unrealistic, but just think about it … if there’s something on your mind there is generally only a few options, maybe just one or two things you can actually do. And if you take it a bit further, it often boils down to just two things … you can either do something, or you can do nothing.

Don’t let worrying sour things for you

Yes, I know … sounds really unrealistic. There’s more to worrying than that! Actually, there isn’t, at least not usually. You can either take a course of action, or you’re not in a position to do that. And it can cause you some anxiety, of course, but sooner or later you have to make a decision. And then, at that point, you can just get on with it (i.e. take action), or you have to step back and do nothing (maybe because there’s nothing constructive you can do, or maybe because it will be better in the long run if you do nothing). Either way, get on with it! Do what you have to do, or do nothing. I know, I’m making it sound childishly simple, but in reality most problems boil down to making that decision. Decide to do something, or to do nothing.

And as soon as you’ve made your decision, just get on with it. Taking action is a surefire way to put an end to fear of success! And make sure you’re seeing yourself as a success – if you do that, fear of success evaporates, since you’re a success already, in your mind. And that’s the most important place to be successful. Once you’re successful in your mind, everything else follows, and fear of success becomes nothing more than a dim memory.

Once you start taking action you’ll be asking yourself what all the fuss was about. And you’ll be happy you’re just getting on with things, even if it means you’re taking what looks like a negative course of action. By that I mean, it might result in you losing quite a bit of money, or a whole section of your business, or whatever. But at least you’ve made your decision and now you’re getting on with it.

Taking action kills worry stone dead!

In retrospect, did the worrying help you very much? Of course not, it very rarely does. It might seem, at the time, as though you have no option but to worry, but you always have a choice. And the sensible thing is to not worry. It won’t help, and it will very likely just add to your problems. A useful idea, at times like this, is to imagine this situation is happening to someone else … someone you know … and that someone has asked you for your input. He’s asking your advice really, because he’s worried. What are you going to tell him?

I’m willing to bet one of the first things you’d do is tell him to stop worrying. Tell him it’s a waste of time, and energy. And it will quite likely just add to his problems and confuse the issue. Say to him, “Look, whatever you decide, don’t worry … that’s not going to help”. And as you hear yourself saying that in your mind, take that advice yourself. Don’t worry … it’s really not worth it.

So don’t worry about the ‘minefield’ of success. This is what you’ve been working towards. Sure, things will change, and maybe there’ll be problems. But don’t worry, and don’t let anxiety stop you forging ahead and finally claiming that success that you’ve wanted for so long. Keep right on and don’t deviate.

You’re nearly there!
Don’t let a silly thing like fear of success stand in your way.