Don’t be so hard on yourself!

I’m all for giving it your best shot. If you want something, go for it! Give it all you’ve got, by all means. But don’t be an extremist. Perfectionism is a disease. It’s a disease of the mind. It will rob you of the satisfaction of your achievements, and it will keep you chasing perfection, which, by definition, isn’t achievable.

Perfectionism is a killer!

I could argue the case against extremism all day (and I’m going to in a minute, but just for the rest of this blog post), but take it from me, it’s not the way to go. I’ve been a perfectionist, and it doesn’t lead anywhere good. I still battle with it every day as a matter of fact. This blog post, as a case in point … I won’t publish it quickly, you can be sure of that. I’ll ‘finish’ it and I’ll put to one side. Later, I’ll check it over. I’ll try to improve it – finding better ways to express myself at certain points, doing away with certain words or phrases because they just don’t sit right, and generally fiddling about with it almost endlessly. What should take me about half an hour will no doubt stretch out to take most of the day. Ridiculous!

It’s pointless of course, but it’s a hard habit to break. The nature of a blog should dictate that it’s done with immediacy. You should put down your thoughts as they come to you. It’s almost a disposable form of writing. Yet the habit of a lifetime means that I’ll almost certainly come back to it and try to make it better.

A hard habit to break

And it’s that yearning to make things better that’s at the heart of perfectionism. If I’ve got something to say, something that I think is worthy of a blog post, then I should just sit down at my desk and start typing. When I’ve finished, apart from a quick check for typos, I should just click ‘Publish’ and have done with it. That’s how blogs work. Or should be anyway.

Actually, I’m going to try to make a special effort with this one to do it the proper way (i.e. quick and easy). But you see, there I go again … I’m going to make ‘a special effort’. It shouldn’t be an effort to do something the easy way! That should be natural. The fact is, I’ve still got a way to go before I can just write stuff down and press ‘Publish’. Something in me is always warning me that what I’ve written isn’t good enough. And that’s right there at the heart of the problem.

The truth is, if you’re reading this, you’re in the minority. Most people these days can’t even focus their concentration on a page to keep reading this far. Most people simply can’t do it. Or maybe they’ve just developed a habit of scanning and skipping through pages and focusing briefly on bits that catch their attention. Because, let’s face it, we’re all presented with so much reading matter these days that it’s perfectly understandable if people skim through most of it.

So if you’re still reading, thank you! And congratulations too, since you’re sticking with it till the bitter end. And in light of that, I’ll keep this short. I just want to convey this simple message: whatever it is you want to achieve, just do it. Don’t get hung up on all the what-ifs. Don’t let doubts cloud your mind. Don’t make the classic mistake of focusing on and visualising all the thing that might go wrong. If you want to use your imagination, use it constructively, not destructively.

Use your imagination constructively

Imagine how great it’s going to be to achieve what it is you’re engaged in. Visualise a successful outcome. See yourself crossing the finishing line as a winner, and having achieved everything you set out to achieve. That’s what your imagination is for, not constructing images of every possible avenue of failure.

So I’ll leave it at that. I’ve said it now, and I really hope I’ve managed to convey to you this simple message. I want you to be successful in your endeavours, and I’d hate to think that you’ll be holding yourself back by struggling endlessly for perfection.

Just go for it! Believe in yourself, and in your ability to achieve your goals. Trust yourself! And visualise yourself being successful, achieving all you set out to achieve, and being happy with that (and not pulled down by thoughts of some mythical and unachievable perfection).

That’s it. I’m just going to check this over very briefly and I’ll immediately hit ‘Publish’.